Though you sayy your heart is in the right place, as eloquent as your words are [[after the fact when the damage is done]], your actions have always spoken louder than those self-same eloquent words and have rendered those words meaningless -- all because of your actions.

Don't tell me you love me, but rather show me you love me.

And not by buying me chocolates or telling me how beautiful I am. [[Though I must sayy the chocolates, the compliments, and esp. the kisses are quite wonderful in and of themself.]]

Instead, show me that you love me by listening to what I say and heeding my words.

In short, do NOT do whatever it is that made me mad at you in the first place! I can assure you that if it got me mad the first time, the second time it will only make me maddER. And maddEST the third!

I've come to terms with your past and I don't care how many lips you've kissed or how many shoulders you've embraced. I don't care about how many times you have said "I love you." I don't care about not being your first but I do want to cherish every moment that you spend here with me.

And yet...how much do you cherish these moments? How much do you care? Is it enough to change? Or do you only care enough to appease me with your eloquent words, to only do the same maddening thing all over again.

Trust is given where it is due. It is built over time and though it can reach heights of tremendous proportions, it can always be destroyed. Once demolished, the only way to build it up again is to start at the base and build it up the same way it was built the first time.

I've come to an impasse and now it is time to make my choice. Where our relationship moves on from this point I will determine solely by YOUR actions.

Maybe it's just because I'm so vain.

Or am I?

No gurl wants to be ugly.

And every gurl knows what they want to look like.

So when you go to a hairstylist and ask them to cut your hair, you place your life into their hands, trusting, hoping, praying, that when they have finished their job, that your life will still be intact, possibly even better than it had been before.

This is whyy it is absolutely CRITICAL, that your hairstylist payy great attention to how YOU sayy you want to look. In today's day and age, image is everything, and though the image that you want to portray might be different from what your hairstylist might want you to do, she should have enough courtesy, respect, professionalism, and decency, to cut your hair as she has been instructed to do so. Because ultimately, you have to live with that haircut. Not her. And that haircut can either bring you up, or tear you down. The mental trauma of a bad haircut is not momentary but lasts usually for extended periods of time. And if the hairstylist cut it too short, it can take months, and even years, to grow back. Yes, it can be fixed with hair extensions, but who wants to spend $350 to fix something that could have easily been avoided had the person cutting your hair been paying any attention to you.

Seriously though, what's the purpose of sitting down in that chair and telling that lady what you want if she doesn't heed your words? It's as if you're paying someone a tremendous amount of money to destroy your life. And then when it's all said and done, you smile, nod your head in approval, and heartily spout out how much you love the new look! And don't even consider not tipping because everyone in the salon is watching. "Here's your goddamn tip! Thanx for ruining my life!"

Just for your personal reference. Here are the before and afters.

BEFORE 

AFTER

Nota Bene: Everyone has told me that my new haircut is not fugly in the least, and while I agree that it is not entirely horrendous. It is simply not how I had desired for it to be. I loove long hair and I think it's very sexy. While this new haircut is decent, I really just had wanted it to be longer. I think anyone can understand me in that.